Should you look at what your child writes? Technically, no. The box is meant to be a safe place where the child can write down anything and not have it “discovered.” Instead, you could set up a worry time when your child can discuss her worries with you. Worry time is also a form of containment because it restricts the time the child can dwell on her worries with an adult. You can set up the time specially for the child, say from 4:00 to 4:20 every afternoon. If at 4:20 your child is not through discussing her worries, ask her to write down the worries and put them into the worry box. Tell her that she can take them out to discuss tomorrow at the same time. With your hot glue gun, place a line of glue all the way down the line of the white foam teeth that you cut out. Aim to stay flexible, attentive and responsive to the needs of your child. Explore different alternatives, discuss their pros and cons, and work together to find the approach that best supports their emotional wellbeing. Summary

What do you think about the worry jar technique? In my experience, anxious kids really get into this technique and find it very helpful. Will you try it? Please let me know how it goes.help them to understand that thoughts are just thoughts, not real things that happen in the world, and that it’s possible to let them go The worries are now manageable, safely held and will not take over all the day and night. They are contained in both time (worry time) and space (worry box). P.P.S. Sometime ago I wrote the foreword and collaborated with author Elaheh Bos on A Spot of Blue, a story for young children about anxiety, in which this coping technique and others are shared. You may want to take a look! Using your worry box:The next time your child feels worried or anxious, encourage them to write the worry down on a piece of paper and slip it into the worry box’s opening. It can take a couple of weeks to establish this as a habit, so persistence is key.

Containment is one of the basic principles of CBT. An analogy can help to understand it better. Imagine a yellow dandelion flower. The immature seeds are in the flower head and are contained within the flower. If you pull up the yellow flower, the seeds do not scatter and cannot reproduce. But when the flower changes to a white seedhead with parachute-like seeds, the mature seeds scatter with the slightest puff of wind. You can no longer control dandelions because they are not contained. The seeds spread all over your yard, your neighbor’s yard and far down the road. Soon there are hundreds of new dandelions popping up. What a problem! If only you could contain all those seeds before they spread. You can learn to manage your mind effectively to minimise stress and anxiety. You do not need to let your worries control or define you. Dr Lucy Russell is a UK clinical psychologist who works with children and families. Her work involves both therapeutic support and autism assessments. She is the Clinical Director of Everlief Child Psychology, and also worked in the National Health Service for many years. As well as this worry bag activity, there are lots of other ways you can help your children to think and talk about their worries and emotions. We've got these brilliant teacher-made resources for you to try: This Worry Poster is a great one to use for your classroom displays or at home. It gives practical advice for children if they’re unsure how to approach their concerns.Express their feelings by writing them on a paper (they can also make a drawing, or you can help them write it down) Place a dab of glue on the top of the box. Place one of the curled pipe cleaners on top. Continue to make a cluster of curled pipe cleaner “hair” on top of the box. When worry thoughts, frustration or overwhelming feelings strike, your child (or you, if your child needs help) can write them down on a piece of paper and store them away in their worry box (or whatever container you chose). Sometimes, there is nothing we can do about the situations or events that trigger our emotions. In those cases, it may be better to accept those feelings and let them go. Thesymbolic nature of a worry box teaches children that their thoughts are just thoughts, enabling them to understand their emotions and gain control over them.

Similarly, you may also notice that your child decides to skip worry time some days as he or she feels they don’t need it. This is another sign of success to be reinforced and recognized! Your monster could be any color and have anything added to it. There are endless ideas on the web if you look under “monsters made out of tissue boxes” or just DIY monsters. Let this monster be your child’s creation. The important concept is to have a mouth or a slot where your child can insert a paper with a written or drawn worry. How to use a worry boxFor young children under 10, a worry box can be a brilliant introduction to identifying and sharing your worries. But they may need more help than you think. Identifying your worries is an advanced skill, especially if you have multiple worries swirling around in your mind. Sit with your child and try to help them label and makes sense of their big feelings. Choose 10-15 minutes a day after school or after supper (but not right before bed) and write down when worry time is on the worry jar (e.g., 4 PM to 4:15 PM). You may want to set a timer or alarm to notify your child that worry time has begun. Once worry time starts, your child can open the worry jar, look inside, and proceed to worry all he or she wants. Your child can choose to review all the worries or focus on one or two each day. Depending on the child and your child’s developmental age, worry time can be spent alone or with you. To end worry time, have a timer or alarm sound to indicate that worry time is over for the day. Your child should close the jar to put his or her worries away.

To help with sleep, have your child write down her worries just before bedtime and then put them into the worry box to be safely held. She can also put the worry box under her bed so she can write down worries that might bother her in the middle of the night. Combining the worry box with worry timeAlthough it may be hard for your child to let go of their worry, if you consistently emphasise that you are “holding” the worry and they don’t need to, they stand a good chance of being able to release it eventually. Variations on the Worry Box Worry Journal