Access two ways to receive and two ways to give and feel the joy of each of these four possibilities for interaction Another question people often ask about the Wheel of Consent is ‘’How can I tell whether I am feeling a ‘want to’, a ‘willing to’, or a ‘not willing to’?”

The dynamics shown above describe interactions which are happening with the full, informed consent of both people – i.e. with awareness of both who is doing, and who it is for. The Wheel of Consent® can also describe what happens without consent: To fold: www.youtube.com/watch?v=21qi9ZcQVto (Confession – I first fell in love with this tiny booklet that Sinclair Sexsmith had made, and I needed an excuse to make one myself. So here you are!)

2 Hand-outs

Here is a simple example: I ask John if I can place my hand on his knee, and he replies, “Sure, that’s fine”. On the face of it, we seem to have consent. But the Wheel of Consent® says our agreement is not complete until we have also answered the question, “Who is it for?” A question people often ask about the Wheel of Consent is “But if we are having sex, shouldn’t it be for both of us? Why would it only be for one of us?” And they are right - it is important that if two people are sharing physical intimacy, it should be ‘for’ both of them, i.e. it is something they both really want to do.

Applied professionally, we become more effective practitioners, empowering others in their healing and development processes. Applied personally, we access deeper and more meaningful connections. Is for anyone who is interested in learning more about themselves and improving the quality of their relationships – with intimate partners, friends, parents, children, or colleagues Sexological Bodywork Training and Somatic Sex Educator Training in Australia, Thailand and the US: instituteofsomaticsexology.com/ An interesting side-note here is that, if you ask heterosexual men and women which quadrant they feel they are mostly in during sex, men often say they are mostly in Giving, whilst women often say they are mostly in Allowing. In other words, both partners think what’s happening is mostly for the other person, which means that neither of them is getting what they really want!

The 3 Minute Game

Discuss individual preferences and differences in sexuality and pleasure with more confidence and ease. Perhaps I feel drawn to the leggings John is wearing, and want to feel the texture of the fabric (the touch is for me).

The Wheel of Consent® also applies to non-touch situations. Here’s an example: I ask Sally to come with me to a friend’s party, and Sally replies, ‘Yes, I will’. Now let’s consider ‘Who is this for?’ Here are three possible scenarios: To print: 100% is best, but not necessary. This PDF includes some color, but is also fine in B&W. Bulgarian: Engaging in this practice means engaging with the most fundamental aspects of caring for and respecting personal autonomy.In the taking-allowing dynamic, the taker asks for the kind of touch that they would like to give to the other person, for their own pleasure. The allower takes some time to feel into the request, and, if it is something that they genuinely want to allow and would also feel good to them, consent to the touch. For example, the taker may ask: “Can I stroke your hair for three minutes for my own pleasure?” and the allower may reply: “Yes, you can”. This dynamic is often more diffiuclt for people in the ‘taking’ quadrant, because we are not usually accustomed to asking to give touch to another for our own pleasure. Some also associate ‘taking’ with taking something by force, which is not how it’s meant in this context. The Shadows/ Saying No